In my daily life, I have several roles that I have to play. Just to name a few, I need to be a daughter, a sister, a girl friend and friend. In recent days, I have added one new role to that list.
That new role is counselor. Huh? Simi counselor?
A counselor is a person whose job is to give advice to people who need it, especially advice on their personal problems.
Confused? Just read on…
This is the story of Kenneth.
Kenneth is a close friend of mine. When I knew him, he was happily married with a beautiful wife. He had a 2 year old son which photos I have seen plastered around his Facebook page. Handsome young boy, I might add.
One fine (okay, maybe not so fine) day, Kenneth texted me.
Kenneth: “I’m going to lose everything!”
Me: “Huh? What do you mean? What happened?”
Kenneth: “I’m going to get a divorce.”
Me: “?!?!?!!??!?! Since when? Why I don’t know?!”
Kenneth: “Wife found out that I had an affair. *explains situation from head to toe* How!? Now have to move out, she doesn’t want to see me.”
Me: “Aiyo, why you never think properly… Try to console her and make her forgive you.”
Kenneth: “Hais, how!?”
So that’s how I became a counselor lor.
For the next few months, I was there helping him through his heart break from both his wife and the other woman. It wasn’t easy for him because it became quite a messy affair. The other woman had her own relationship, and left him too to fix things with her boyfriend.
His wife wanted a divorce, and therefore they had to give up their HDB flat which they have bought recently just before the birth of his son. In the midst of doing so, his wife also did not allow him to live together with her. He had no choice but to move out temporarily and took up a rental room of around $600 per month.
Since this is a financial blog, let me perform a break down on the amount of money he has “lost” throughout this entire saga.
|Divorce Lawyer fees||$ (11,000.00)|
|Housing rental (for 1 year)||$ (7,200.00)|
|HDB renovation||$ (50,000.00)|
|Child support (Per month)||$ (800.00)|
Excluding child support which would be an ongoing monthly expense, he has outstanding losses of $68,200.
Now, you might think he might be able to gain back some of the losses from the sale of his HDB flat. Think again.
He bought his 5-room flat at $787,000 and sold it recently at $808,000. Including agent commission fees, returning accrued interest back into his CPF OA and other miscellaneous costs, there wasn’t really much of a profit at all.
This is one very good example when they say money cannot buy you everything. Like spilled milk, all you can do is to clean up the mess and move on with life.
Marriage is meant to be sacred, but in the current society, it makes it easy to just denote your status by a piece of paper. Likewise, it is also easy to tear it apart to remove it.
To me, I think the hardest part would be knowing that his son will not being able to have a complete family during his growing up years. I personally feel that when a situation like this arises, the child is the one who would suffer the most, even if they don’t know that they will.
Luckily for Kenneth, he was able to establish a friendly relationship with his current ex-wife despite everything that happened and they are on relatively good terms now. I hope that Kenneth will learn from his lesson and think twice before going ahead with a costly decision. From my counseling, he seems to be happier, being able to still spend time with his son and bring him out on the weekends. :p
Do you know anyone in a similar situation? Feel free to share your stories in the comments below.
P.S.: In case you’re wondering, Kenneth was the one who suggested that I post this story about him on my blog. He wanted to share his story so that others can learn from it. I hope that this blog post helped you in some way, as how he wished it would have.
Thanks for reading!
Miss Niao xoxo